Friday, July 29, 2011


12nd of June 2007
It was so hard, keeping my word. My word to my parent not to make a date. They were have a phobia of the word “date”. “You should not imitate your sister step!” said my dad one lousy day to remind me strictly. It was because of my sister have had boy friend and being kidnapped by hers. I thought it was the risk of being Lombok people. It was the tradition. There was not wrong but kidnapped your girl in the middle of her study. That was the fault.

5th of May 2008
“You know my heart through my eyes..”
I was starring bright through the window. I was re-opened file of Andi’s word and my father’s. I was hesitating in choosing my own freedom or my father’s words. Again, it was so hard. Soooo hard…… so hard for those people who was fall in love with someone, and he felt just the same as yours! What a shame, that people included me! I could not even say a single word to show your feeling to the person whom you love. It was like “The Sick Rose”. O Rose Thou Art Sick. Sick by invisible worm.

8th of May 2008
What a tiring day.
Three homework each day.
It was 12:45 pm, when academic writing class ended. I was in hurry to Musholla, wanted to take pray as soon as possible then preparing the material for the extensive reading class. My handphone was croak when I was reading Holy Al-Qur’an Viewer in my mobile. A message: Remind all o’ member of statement. Meetin’ at 2 pm. Avenue: C5. Agenda: English Family Day. Oh damn! Meeting at 2, class at 3, back home at 6 and on top of that I must prepare the dinner for sixteen people in my boarding house; my turn to cook! Astagfirullah…….God….so sorry I did not do it on purpose. Started from now, I’ll stop complaining.

9th of May 2008
Prose lecture. Describing your girl or boy friend. The most good-looking guy (my friends word) came forward and telling his girlfriend. “I know you wont believe what I said. But both of me and my girl ready to let you know what he fact. My girl is our class mate”. Suddenly the class became curious, either do I. he continued his “…mmmhh…both of us beg you pardon. Vene…I have said ours…”. What??? Me??? I couldn’t believe my ears…absolutely!
The whole class, looked at me and congratulated me. what an impudent statement! I tried to explain the truth but nobody hear me. “Edelweiss Veneeria, we know. You are in adaptation process, so just calm. Even we want Redi be ours but we are happy to hear that news”

11th of May 2007
I was on foot. My m-bike had been repaired. Suddenly the most freaky man that I’ve ever met. He seemed like omnipresent. “Where’s your m-bike?”
“Not your business”
“O.K. Mmmm let me take you home”
“No, I still have mine to walk”
He kept on following me. O God I could not help it anymore…

15th of May 2008
“I am not your girl!”
I was on the debate with him. I was so tired with this situation. Aaaaaaa……A card, flowers, gift, poem, song. He was threat me like dirt. I did not love him.

18th of May 2008
“Kak Redi…can I take your picture”
In a flash Redi became an artist for the new student of English Department. They said, Redi is the “TLMD”. Talk Less Do More. Talented person in everything. A good singer, a model, genius with 4 of his GPA, good-looking, and bla..bla..bla…
Hajrah heard me replied “Jealous?”

21th of May 2008
At home.
He rang me.
I put my phone on my table and use handsfree.
“Vene…I know your heart like my own….”
“I know you there, listen to my word…..”
“Listen to my every single word”
I wanted to turn my phone off, but I couldn’t do this because of my couriusity.
“All I asked just to know. Know your feeling just like mine”
“Vene….know I am standing outside your door”
“Please…say something even a single word”
I did nothing.

29th of May 2008
Funeral Day.
“ shouldn’t go to Red’s funeral. I’m afraid you’ll make the situation getting worse” I realized that it was no use forcing my sick body to his funeral. I got sick since I heard he got an accident that day when he came to my house.
“Din…but this is my fault. If…”
Dina cut my word
“No, it was his destiny. May I ask you one question?”
“Ya.. you may”
“I know your parent will angry if you make a date. But why didn’t you do it backstreet? What I am saying is, try to make someone happy”
“I don’t love him. If I love him, I’ll do it”
I know Dina was right. I did not go to his funeral. I was remember his poem:

You want to know
Do you want it now

I can come into your eyes
I can come deep into your price
Lestat, you are not you
You have to stop this

30th of May – 27th of June 2008
I need time on my own. The face of his tormented me. the smelt in the class smelt like his. I’ve never felt this way before. Everything that I did remind me oh he. But I did not love him. I meant it. Sometimes I saw him stand down there when I was on the third floor. I saw him smile at me and disappeared in a flash. Maybe it was only my imagination. And it almost made me mad.

28th of June 2008
I thought that this is only a fake. I punched my hand thousands time, but it wasn’t a dream. It was so silly in my 20th birthday I was going to mad. Maybe because of this, my friends then give me a big nice wrapped birthday gift.
I opened the gift and……..
It was Redi suddenly went out from the big gift.
Then I was remember nothing
I opened my eyes. I saw Dina. “Din it was only a dream? Wasn’t it?”
“No this is not a dream. Redi is not dead. It was only a fake. We wan to give you a special birthday gift. Redi doesn’t love you. He already has a girlfriend”
I hit all of my friend, Redi, Dina, Santi, Dika.
But I was happy…


  1. agak menyayat hati sih grenmernya

  2. @Cute: Iya, itu dulu waktu semester 3an gituh, tak biarin aja seperti apa adanya, biar drku mengenang yang lalu2, betapa bodohnya kita dulu pas semester2 awal...

    1. Clay... dicari ma pak Bagus... maku jg